Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
