I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
