More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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