Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Your cock deserves a montage
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
