The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
