found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
