I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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