are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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