puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
