i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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