Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
