He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
