Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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