Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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