I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
