First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
