Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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