well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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