Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
