he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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