I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
