You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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