your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
