i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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