You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
