OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's official drugs can't kill me
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
