Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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