i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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