Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
