He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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