I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
