i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
