we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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