You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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