take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
