He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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