you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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