I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
