According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
