My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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