i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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