Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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