I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
