Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize