look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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