you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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