We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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