I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
