Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
