Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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