Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
