words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
