That's when you crack a 10am beer
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
