left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
