just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I love you.
Bad choice
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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