I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wish you could order shots online.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
