I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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