They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
