Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
