my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
