forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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