so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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