Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
