I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
