I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
