A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
