brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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